While enjoying an evening Instagram scroll, an account I enjoy, @wearethehomemakers, posted the following call to action:
“Homemakers, share five things that have proven to equip and bless your homes and roles within.”
It turns out my full answer was much too long for an Instagram comment, but thankfully, this blog exists for such things!
Here are my five top bits of advice for creating a home and life full of love…
1. I decided to see my husband as the boss I chose to love and serve for life, and it changed my marriage and my life in all the best ways, despite all my fears and hesitations.
This shift in mindset has been key to change from growing in resentment of my husband to growing in respect for him. It's remarkable how a man who feels respected can move mountains.
The slight nudge of power dynamics cultivates a kind of evergreen quality to intimacy, key to long-term mutual satisfaction. A strong marriage devoted to God is at the center of a happy, healthy home, and this shift put all of that into perspective, and has enabled everything else on this list to work consistently.
2. Keep the kitchen clean (it’s easy).
At the root of the house always feeling messy, never wanting to cook, and generally feeling like a hot mess at home was the ever-present pile of dirty dishes.
As a mother of five, they always exist around me, and yet, keeping my kitchen clean has freed my spirit of it's need of chaos.
The dishwasher exists, and dirty dishes can go straight into them, for the most part. It's a tip everyone in my family was able to learn.
Within a month, I started feeling capable of actually living a sane life, and all it took was a shift from sink to dishrack, and an acceptance of running the machine 3x/day. Dishes: keep them clean!
3. Learn to cook what you love to eat.
Good food is a pleasure for everyone around your table. Keep things simple, but high in quality.
Consider organizing your kitchen like a little restaurant.
Depending on your season of life and cooking skills, this may not suit. But, I've become somewhat enamored of running my home kitchen and dining room as if it's my little restaurant serving my seasonal favorites and specials.
As a consequence, my family has pretty much stopped eating out and I keep a six-month food supply.
4. Prayer is an act of self-responsibility.
Most issues need to be worked out with God alone, and there is nothing gained complaining and explaining to everyone around you.
Write it out, pray, deal with your issues more than you examine them.
5. Your home is basically in the business supporting God's product: life!
Keep records and make systems for success, like any good business.
Be efficient, make good use of the resources made available to you, cultivate beauty in as many ways as you can, embody playful, vibrant beauty, make your home edifying, nourishing, and peaceful, surround your children with beauty and truth - all to the glory of God.
BONUS
6. Grow and change for your children, they are your greatest blessing.
This part is maybe always going to feel tough or tender, but it's the deepest work in the deepest calling. Whatever problems you see in your children, look for them in you first, and solve those things from a place of actual leadership and experience.
Your children need you confident in your role and authority as their mother, and your failure to fulfill your responsibilities borrows against your future and your child's: clean up your messes, and be a living example to your children of how to lead a beautiful, God-centered life.